The Survivors

The In-tents Massacre

Saxon's Journal- Stardate 66780.1

After many days of travel, following the mystical enclave compass orb has come to some sort of fruition. When near the coast, our motley crew, having recently been abandoned at a rather critical time by Kita, who seems to do that sort of thing a lot, chanced upon a party of travelling companions that we recognized from the visions showed to us. These folk were acting very suspiciously and were obviously those indicated as our targets. When they fled without engaging in any conversation despite our having given no indication of hostile intent, we naturally tracked them through the woods till they made encampment at nightfall.

We had been ordered not to engage the enemy by Kita, but seeing as she was not present, blatant disregard for the command structure won out over patience and diplomacy, and so we attacked the camp. I sent a troop of attack dogs in with Kenya and Trigon to harass the enemy while also shooting down threats from the shroud of my native shadow. To our great surprise and endless amusement, everyone but the posted watchman (who was swiftly incapacitated and pinned to a tree) was sleeping in tents. The best thing about tents is that they restrict one’s ability to fight, see anything, or move at all, while offering absolutely no protection of any kind from any outside attack. We went for the tent of the old man that seemed to be the leader first, knocking it down around his ears and stabbing in with various pointed objects, and we followed up with the rest of the helpless fish-in-a-barrel.

All-in-all, it would have been an incredibly successful venture, as nearly no damage was inflicted upon us in this incredibly one-sided event that some might laughingly call a fight. Unfortunately, our mission of taking candy from some particularly incompetent babies was interrupted when we beat a helpless old man to death like true heroes, and he refused to show us the common courtesy of dropping dead at our feat. Instead, he was spirited away with all personal items by some stupid beam thing. This happened again as we moved to kill off the rest of the party, and they seem to have been saved and moved to a new location by a mysterious force. Nothing was left to loot but the hilariously useless tents and some non-magical broken glass, which Keyna insisted on cutting herself with repeatedly, because glass is shiny and she is dumb. We also learned absolutely nothing from the experience, other than that not following orders from Kita always turns out really awesome for everyone and couldn’t possibly ever have any downsides at all.

Ah well, I’m sure things will all resolve themselves eventually. Also, I’m never sleeping in a tent again.

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aleksobrad

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